P90X. In other words, the end.

Why is P90X the end?  P90X is a signal that somebody wants to fit into a wedding dress a size smaller for some reason, and a signal that somebody wants to look smokin' hot on their honeymoon.  Not me, sigh, but  Jenny is definitely engaged and spending all of her words at I Wanna Be a Dipo and all of her time at the Dipo townhouse.  Even while Morgan is at work?  That part's confusing to me, but I suppose it's just because she hates 410 so much. Sigh.

So she hyped me up to do P90X with her.  I did the first three days of pain, put off my marathon schedule, and naturally all the DVDs go to Morgan's house.  Back to the marathon it is.

P.S. I saw Allen pushing a stroller.  Please meet this guy, so you will be able to imagine how crazy that is.

Bee Tee Double You

By the way, construction (across the street) is all but over.  The two days that I get to sleep in, I am so happy not to hear the backup beeps of fatty trucks, but the peaceful chirp of spring birds.

Its the time of year when I can sit in my living room and have my window open, unafraid of the torment of bangs and crashes.  I was doing that this very evening.  So now what's the catch?

It's one of those INFERNAL HIGH-TECH BUILDINGS, with a BUILT-IN PARKING GARAGE, with the LKFJOIE CUFOJSDFJ #V)(*$)(@V )( STUPID VOICE that announces whenever a car is leaving!!! AND IT IS SO LOUD!!!!!

"WARNING! A CAR IS APPROACHING" - official man voice

SERIOUSLY!??? ?!!?!?!? !??!?!?!?!?!? I AM AN ENTIRE BLOCK AWAY!!!!!!!

Urubamba Mamba

Jenny has departed into the high jungles of the sacred valley of Cusco, Peru.  Urubamba?  As she broadens her world view and increases her spirit tenfold by delving into the depths of humility, I sigh a sigh of relief.  No one to hold me accountable for washing the dishes, for cleaning the sink, for putting my books and clothes away, for placing my bike in my own room, no.. one... to talk.. to?  No, that sigh is a sigh of misery.  I can't believe how many opportunities there are, in an empty apartment, to talk to myself! I am learning myriad small things.

Who else is there to keep my company, in this apartment 410?  A survey of our neighbors with whom a walkway is shared:

Apartment 409 - Allen, Jean, and Grunts. Allen: a seventy-something-year-old Caucasian wrinkly hippie.  Flowing white dreadlocks, never without a big brown marijuana smoky-thingy in his hand.  Actually I don't know what leaf is contained therein, I'm just making an assumption.  I don't know a lot  about drugs.  When I wake up and look out the window, he's on Mercer St., pacing around the misty morn'.  When I come home from school, he's on the opposite side of the building, chatting with other neighbors. He knows Everyone?  I don't understand it. Favorite phrases: "Just gettin' ready to go to work!" or "Beautiful night/day, surreal, wow." Jean: African-American late-30/early-40-something, incredibly tall.  He is very polite! When I sit on the couch by the door, I hear him come outside for his telephone conversations.  He always expresses his love for the family and for whoever he is talking to.  He sounds like a solid dude, though Jenny highly suspects Jean and Allen to be involved in drug trafficking.  She may be right. Grunts: They just got a dog. I'm not sure what it's name is (I forgot), it might have been Beanie, but Grunts seems appropriate. As for the apartment... it's a 1 bedroom, Jean sleeps on a mattress by a TV in the living room. That's all I see through the blinds.

Apartment 408 - Blinds INFINITELY shut.  I've seen them half open twice.  Someone also sleeps in the living room and has a quilted bedspread.  Once, I saw a short Asian woman with very thick hair hurriedly exiting the unit, carrying an empty grocery bag.

Apartment 407 - When we first moved here, there was a lady who lived here who claimed she was "just visiting." She was quite old and haggish, but she had a new hair color almost every week.  She also had a slobbery dog named Sir.  They hung out on the balcony all day long.  I'm not sure who she lived with, but she slept in the living room, and whoever else lived there was a good-looking young man.  It was really confusing.  Anyway, they moved out, and now this gym-rat lives there.  He's nice, and he has a super-fit friend who is totally my type that comes over a lot.  I see them together more often than not.  You know, they're probably gay.  But if they weren't, I would make friends with him so I could get to know that friend of his.

Apartment 406 - This apartment was previously inhabited by the only normal person on the floor.  When he moved out a few months ago, Jenny and I were terribly dismayed and slightly afraid.  Thankfully, the new residents of this 1-br are a young couple and a baby! I am so grateful that I live on the other end of the floor, because when I'm in the front room I definitely here that little buddy screaming his or her head off.

Well, that's all.  It's been 3 weeks that Jenny has been gone, and I've peeked through many-a-neighbors-window and nothing has been extra suspicious. 

Miracle on Mercer St.

Good karma has finally found it's way into my life.  This last week has been freakishly full of phenomenons.  The first regards a great percentage of my daily life: finding parking on Capitol Hill.  Depending on the time of day it can take a huge chunk of time, and I end up listening to loud music, yelling some words I shouldn't when I see a space being taken, and driving way too fast on one-lane streets.  On Wednesday evening I drove home, expecting a similar situation.  What I saw really confused me, though: there were cars parked on the south street parallel to my apartment building.  Why would 5-6 people decide to park there illegally one day?  Upon closer inspection... the "authorities" have now allowed parking on this side of the street, and there was even a space waiting for me! 6 more chances for a good parking space! Other miracles:

• One street over, parking is going to open up again on April 2nd.
• Construction noise has been severely reduced/stopped! They are almost done! Naps during the day in my room are now possible! 
• I was moving my car from a 30-minute space, when I realized I left my house keys and phone inside. Shucks. My plan: watch the balcony for Jenny to come back home and let me in. Actual: within a minute, Jenny showed up in the downstairs lobby to check the mail and I was saved!
• I got a paid internship with probable promotion to a job after graduation at Banyan Branch as a social media analyst!
• I'm on a super health kick, I ran 10.5 miles on a beautiful sunny beach day, I discovered legit biceps, my booty's not really soft anymore (kinda sad about that), I am addicted to finding new muscles.  The human body is amazing!
• I continue to have a fantastic roommate, who is currently singing whimpers in her bed.

With these spikes of blessings amidst a life of continuous despondency, I'm waiting for a huge trial to come along any day...

Dontcha want Jenny to write another blog?

The Boob Tube

"Hmm, what TV show should I catch up on while I eat my breakfast today?"

A question that sparked a debate, this morning.

Jenny is under the impression that 30 Rock is the new show for "intellectuals." How does this match up with your experiences? It certainly didn't match up with mine.  Trying to conjure up what meaning the Seattle population/culture might put behind the experience of an intellectual TV show, I came up with some semantic possibilities that are generally mutually exclusive and seem to cover most outlying cases:

1. To be watched for the purpose of elevating ones intellect; it must bring to light new information about a culture, maybe a past historical culture, a hidden culture somewhere in the world today, or a hyper-specific micro-culture such as among the astronomical, musical, or zoological community.  (Bill Nye, NOVA, National Geographic, Bill Moyer)
2. To be watched to merely feel smarter than another person or another group. Two subsections:(a.) it must be clever and witty, with humor which may take a few moments longer to process. (Frasier, many Britcoms like Are you being served?, and maybe this is what Jenny wants 30 Rock to fall under)(b.) or, by merely portraying a lifestyle that we perceive as being made up of the most intelligent types of people in our society, it makes us feel like a part of it, and thereby, smarter. (E.R., House, Alias)
3. To be watched because it is highly involving and cognitively stimulating; perhaps it has gone on for many seasons and has a myriad of plot twists and mysteries which prompt speculation and logical reasoning. (24, LOST, Monk)
4. To be watched to try to find meaning in life, to be enlightened to ways of living and being; maybe it transmits values or lessons that one will apply to one's own life, or by witnessing another lifestyle portrayed in a meaningful way, it will give perspective for one's own life. (Modern Family, Punky Brewster, The Cosby Show)

I watch a lot of stupid TV shows.  I need to have a certain amount of stupidity in my life, and that's not the role of an intellectual TV show, so 30 Rock would be appropriate to fill that void.  Unfortunately, I only watch stupid TV shows, courtesy of hulu.com.  A new goal I am setting here and now, is to eliminate at least 50% of the stupid ones, and replace those with better ones, the next time I'm eating breakfast and catching up with broadcasts.  I want influences in my life to be a better person! An evaluation of my vices:

The Office - Senseless and absurd. It used to be ok, but it has gotten so incredibly unrealistic and ridiculous that I can't bear to waste my time on it. I realized this at the wedding episode - but it is so hard to stoppppp, I want Erin and that other guy to get together! Sigh.
30 Rock - Bone-headed, vacuous and insipid. How can this possibly be intellectual? Now, trying to see Jenny's side of things, I did some research to see if anyone else on the web publicly claimed the show as smart. I found "25 Super Smart Shows..." which had reasonable explanations for the intelligence factor of most of said 25 shows, but all they had to say for 30 Rock was: "This comedy is the brain-child of Tina Fey and documents the goings-on of a fictional live sketch comedy show in New York. Based on Fey’s work at Saturday Night Live, the show includes a cast of ten major characters." Very good, mister - it is making you count the characters, and therefore makes you feel smart?? All I come away with from watching this show is Jenna referencing her disgusting asexual sex life, Tina Fey drooling and using grade-school body jokes to conjure up a laugh, big ol' beerbellies and people under-appreciating their families. Yuckity yuck.
Parks and Recreation - Meh. I watch it when I run out of watching the other stupid shows. But, I find that it's more appealing to me in its ludicrousness.  It's slightly more realistic, there's usually a good moral, and nice characters outweigh mean ones.
Community - Pretty stupid, but I'm pretty sure I like it. Good lessons.
Modern Family - Amazingly wonderful. This show is the savior of today's comedies. Thank you so much for existing and teaching us all about family - though we can be 50x more messed up or 50x more perfect, we're all in it together and we need to love each other!
Ugly Betty - Betty is a super-woman! The cast is diverse and though the plot is crazy, there is love!
Glee - No comment. But I just need to know what happens.

Ohhh myyy gosshhh I waste so much time!  K. I am keeping the shows that make me want to be nicer at the end of watching them.  Wish me luck! Nova, here I come!

"We Miss You"

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is structured brilliantly. I learned a load of blank about contacting people persistently (being an annoying pain in the neck) at WashPIRG to get them to volunteer, and this religious organization is able to do it with 10% of the effort because of its adherent nature!
 
Last Sunday, Jenny and I went to an earlier ward, so I could sin and sing at the NATS Artist Awards competition during our regular time.  (If you are curious, I did not make it to the next round, but I was definitely the youngest and I am proud of myself for having an entire recital program prepared that the judges could choose from! and Jenny is such a saint to come watch! She is awesome! K, Morgan came, too; he is equally awesome in that regard.)

Within 24 hours of missing church, you're going to get at least 3 contacts, depending on the dedication of your leaders. I have yet to compare e-mails with Jenny, but it might include the following. (1) Relief Society presidency member (female): "Hi [name], [business they need to unload on you to achieve their visiting teaching goals.] [nice comment.] Love, [name]." (2) Another member of the Relief Society presidency (female): "Hi [name], [nice comment about you.] [nice comment about you are missed.] [announcements for the week.] [another nice comment.] Love, [name]. (3) Home teacher (male): "Hey sorry u wrent at church today."

Aren't they great? Thanks Coralee and Whitney and all of the people that miss us. :) They make regular ol' Ceciles like me feel like they are worth something, and that is certainly a good way of compelling someone to come back to church.

Acoustic Exploration

The acoustic exploration of a residence is an important step that is not acted upon by most homeowners or renters.  As Jenny detailed in her last post, this is extremely high on my daily priority list. These" groans, screams and melodious melismas" each have a very special purpose... sometimes that purpose being to NOT have a purpose, in a beautiful paradoxical contradiction which creates a paradigm of love.

The other day, for example, I discovered an interesting resonating space in the doorway of Jenny's room which only occurs when one's jaw is parallel with the doorjam, facing 45 degrees away from the closet. Who could have discovered this phenomenon without intense exploration?

Other noises serve as discovering universal linguistic communication. We don't all speak English, but we all experience "waking-up-wishing-we-hadn't-yet-and wish-we-could-stay-under-the-covers-all-day," for example.  I'm pretty sure I've pinned down the exact 2.45 minute melismatic whine that communicates this exact sentiment across all human populations.

Acoustic exploration is not limited to apt. 410.  The residents in apartment 510 (directly above us) like to explore the different squeaks a bedframe can make, in a steady and repetitive way, at 8am or 11am some weekdays.  Jenny is sure that they only listen to one type of music, involving rainforest flutes.

Jenny's sonic utterances not only depict human emotions, but those exerted by other mammals, arthropods or larvae as well. That is all.


Moral of the story: You should think about accepting, instead of ridiculing, those who are interested in acoustic exploration, the next time you see someone screaming down the street. It's a real thing. Explore the airwaves around your home.

The End Result

The house is clean. Generally.

I spent one hour in the bathroom scrubbing away wondering how I just paid $150 dollars to get the rest of my 600 sq ft apt. cleaned but she didn't have time to do the bathroom... skeptical.

HOWEVER, the window tracks no longer house the bodies of dead flies, mites and black tar, and I now feel confident that if I turn on my ceiling fan I won't choke on dust. So for those reasons, I am glad she came.

And yes, she was a woman.

Is?

I don't speak English.

That being said, we finally put our wreath to rest; so long to my final reminder of the holiday season. Hello summer. Please summer. Now summer. Oh how I long for you summer.

My Songbird and Stimulus Package

Cecile spent roughly 3 whole minutes today contributing to the ambience of our apartment via extreme sighs, guffaws, snarls and wailing. No, there was no gnashing of teeth - this time, but it has happened before. The funny thing about it is, I can never really tell you why things happen the way they do with her, but as a joint communications and music major, she is a professional at both, and noises, for no particular reason, may be her forte.

Take for example this morning, yesterday morning, the one before that, and probably tomorrow morning too: "yaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr laaaaaaa laaaaaaa huuuuuahhhhh huaaaaaaaaah he he ta ta la la la la" - It's the first sign of every morning that Cecile has risen. She is my little songbird; what morning glory.

Cecile is miraculous in many ways. Each morning, as I listen to her wake up and greet the morning in a mixture of groans, screams and melodious melismas, I am usually getting ready for work in the bathroom. Each morning she comes storming out of her door and I ask her if she needs to use the restroom like any normal non-camel human would do. WITHOUT fail she passes up the opportunity and EACH morning she goes for hours until taking her morning pee. THIS GIRL IS A MIRACLE. Is this topic inappropriate for a blog? Perhaps, but I don't blog, and if you want to know what's going on in Apartment 410 then you've got to know this tidbit.

Per the cleaning ladies - I am doing my part to boost the economy, and to be fully honest, I have an incredibly dusty fan in my room and I don't have any of the right tools or cleaning products to clean it... so I put two and two together, and voila! I'm getting a clean house and stimulating the economy without raising taxes. Seems like an excellent plan to me. Unfortunately, in creating a priority list for April Lane's Cleaning Agency (alias Annie's Cleaning), I have seemingly upset the operations manager there, and now I'm afraid of leaving these women alone in my house for a few hours.

That's the other thing... I have no idea if the people coming to my door tomorrow are women... but since they will be cleaning my house, I have made that assumption. Hmmmm, a stimulus package that doesn't raise taxes, and an assumption that women will be cleaning my house... maybe I'm more republican than I thought.

Cleaning Professionals

As a cleaning professional,  I would rate my apartment 4 out of 5 stars on a daily basis of cleanliness. 4.7 stars after a vacuum, with a definite 4.99 stars after a monthly deep clean (being a disco era rental, it will never reach a 5 without complete renovation).  The crumb colony in the corner of the kitchen counter has a mere four members after a post-meal rub-down.  The dishes are never dirty for more than half an hour; instead of actually waiting for a full load to use the dishwasher, we hand wash them and set 'em up to dry in there. 

In my lovely clean abode, I was sitting on the couch, laptop in lap, as I am frequently positioned, when my phone rang its schmoozy built-in ringtone.  It was JENNY! I love talking to Jenny. The conversation went something like this:

J: "Guess what? I'm about to do a huge, very expensive favor."
C: "Cool. What?"
J: "Ok. I'm hiring a cleaning service to clean the apartment!!! It's going to be SoOoooOO amazing! BUT: this is contingent upon us keeping it up so we'll have noooo moreee fruit fliesssssss alllll summmerrrrrrrrr!!" (That's "no more fruit flies all summer" for anyone who can't read past her excitement.)
C: *gulp*

I looked around, perplexed.  I couldn't real-ly find anything that would require "extra help" beyond our daily upkeep.  Thoughts went cycling through my head: about scrubbing the sink any time I wash my dishes; bending down every time a crumb is dropped as opposed to waiting to vacuum; storing my fruits in the refrigerator instead of nicely ripening on the sun-lit counter; when OH MY!--I was reminded of my mother's example, when I was a wee one. In Paris, my Dad's work provided our home with gardening and cleaning service. So what would she do? Trim and primp everything up before they got there, so they would know for a surety: she was a master at keeping house.  I was terrorized by needless cleanliness.  And now, something I thought I left behind is back in my life. Oivé, My Poor Life.

It's become clear in these last couple of days that Annie's Cleaning Services are going to go through with it. A time and date has been set.  (I still can't figure out what they're going to clean.) Moral of the story: All I feel is gratitude to be rooming with a cleaner freak than I.  What a wonderful problem and inspiration! Jenny, you're perfect for me!